The end of the year must be very hard for each and every of us. Thus, AtoZForex presents to you 10 Credit crunch jokes to make your day better!
23 December, AtoZForex – A credit crunch is a condition, which is happening when there is a lack of available funds in the credit market. This makes it difficult for borrowers to obtain financing.
10 Credit Crunch Jokes to keep you laughing until New Year
More specifically, banks and investors become suspicious of lending funds to corporations. This pushes up the price of debt products for borrowers. Moreover, credit crunch makes it almost impossible for companies to borrow, as lenders are frightened by bankruptcies or defaults, resulting in higher borrowing costs.
However hard credit crunch can hit, we believe it is useful to have some good laugh about it. In the end, any problem in our life can become less annoying, if we just laugh at it. Therefore, we present to you a compilation of 10 credit crunch jokes that guaranteed to make you laugh.
1. Large Fortune joke
“Q: With the current market turmoil, what’s the easiest way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.”
2. Investment Banker Pizza Joke
“Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.”
3. Rich man death joke
“A rich, dying man, laid on his deathbed, requested to be joined at his bedside by his vicar, his bank manager, and his lawyer.
He instructed them that he wished to be buried, when he finally passed away, along with all his money. He gave each of them fifty thousand pounds and asked them to throw the money on top of his coffin, in the burial plot, when he died.
A couple of days later the old man passed away and was buried within the week. At the wake, the three men were chatting and the vicar was suddenly overcome with guilt. He confessed to the other two that he had only thrown only half of the money onto the coffin, as the church needed urgent repairs to the roof. The bank manager thought, ‘What the heck if we are having a confession,’ and told the other two men that he had also only thrown half the money in, as the ‘Credit Crunch’ was hitting hard and he needed some money for the bank to stop it going bust. The lawyer jumped up and said to the other two, ‘I think that is a shameful act on both of you. I threw a cheque in for the full amount!”
4. Poor robbers in Iceland joke
“Record unemployment levels have been announced today as the Credit Crunch tightens its grip.
Worst hit sectors are the construction trade and Icelandic bank robbers.”
5. Optimistic joke
“Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
A: An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.”
6. Insufficient funds joke
“I went to the ATM this morning and it said “insufficient funds”.
I’m wondering is it them or me.”
7. America’s third biggest lender joke
“The credit crunch is getting bad isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow $10 a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now America’s third biggest lender.”
8. Lobbyist traffic joke
“A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament is stuck in traffic. Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: ‘What’s the hold-up?’ The policeman replies: ‘The Prime Minister is so depressed he’s stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.
He says no one believes he can get us through the credit crunch. So we’re taking up a collection for him.’ The lobbyist asks: ‘How much have you got so far?’ The officer replies: ‘About 40 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning.’”
9. One chair joke
“Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker’s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, “…and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!”
10. You know it’s a credit crunch when…
“1. The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change.
2. There’s a ‘buy one, get one free’ offer – on banks.
3. The IRS is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
4. UK Prime minister Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
5. Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than US dollars.”
Do you know any other jokes about credit crunch? Share in the comments section below.